I bet you didn’t know that god spends most of his day and all of his night trying to figure out how to make your life better?  When he finally comes up with an idea, he transmits it to one of his myriad of self-appointed prophets so that they can look important on the internet.  You see, they’re special … you’re not.  They have a direct line to god … and an even better line of revenue from YouTube.  His prophets often get their message from god while in their car, and they waste no time producing a short for you to click on … I mean view.  They usually start out with something like “god gave me this message for you”.  OR  “God revealed this secret for this nation”.  OR  “God told me something big is going to happen”.

Sometimes god gives his message to a preacher who also has a YouTube channel.  You see, god is all about assisting the financial doings of his legitimate church.  The cool part is that god doesn’t require any of his prophets or preachers to be held accountable for their “messages”.  They are beyond reproach.  After all, they have a YouTube channel, and you don’t!

I for one, look forward to meeting these godly prophets and preachers in heaven.  I hope I get a front row seat when god hands out the “good and faithful servant” awards to them.  His YouTube prophets and preachers will be the “first fruits” in gods kingdom … you will be the “last fruit”.

I am a bit miffed at Matthew for his unkind words in his book about Jesus where he foolishly writes “so the last shall be first, and the first last” (Matthew 20:16).

And I’m even angrier at John when he tells us “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world” (1John 4:1).  How dare he tell us to challenge our godly YouTube prophets!  Who does he think he is!  I bet he thinks he was Jesus’ favorite!  How self deceived can you be!

Evidently … very self deceived.